


Welcome To A Different Side Of Night Vale!

by princey_pie



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Food mention, M/M, creepy stuff - come on it's Night Vale guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-06-09 17:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19480432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princey_pie/pseuds/princey_pie
Summary: What happens if two roommates, a confused scientist, and a frustrated commercial texter all listen to the same radio show? Nobody knows, especially not the socially awkward narrator with the nice voice and the vitiligo.





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently got into Night Vale and I only listened to the first three episodes so far but I just needed to write something.

"A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Night Vale!"

"Roman, come on, it's on, you're gonna miss it!" Patton's voice echoed through their shared apartment.

He was huddled under his fluffy blankets on the couch with two cups of pineapple tea in front of him. The only other item on the coffee table, which of course was more of a tea table right now, was an old radio which was currently turned on. 

Well, it was not like they ever turned it off. The radio did that job itself after the moderator finished his show. It always turned itself on too, just before another show was to start, which both the men found awfully convenient. Especially since it was the only thing the radio played for them. Roman once tried to turn it on outside of the schedule and it only displayed a loud rushing sound. Patton thought that sort of behavior was perfectly justified since Roman had been incredibly rude waking it up like that.

Said Roman just waltzed into the room and flopped down on the couch, leaning against Patton. "Here I am, did I miss anything?"

Patton shook his head just as the mysterious narrator started to speak about the first topic of the day: "The city council announces the opening of a new dog park..."

Patton shot up from the couch with a big grin: "A dog park! There will be so many puppies!"

"They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the dog park. People are not allowed in the dog park," the narrator continued.

Patton whined and curled into Roman's lap: "Roman, there are no dogs! But maybe we could make new friends! I'll bake them cookies."

Roman carded his hand through the other's hair. "But they said to not approach the dog park."

Patton hummed: "I'll just throw them over the fence then."

"And now the news. Old woman Josie out near the car lot says the angels revealed themselves to her, said they were ten feet tall, radiant, and one of them was black, said they helped her with various household chores."

Patton cooed at the radio. "Well, what a sweet lady, calling me an angel! I just helped her switch a light bulb."

Roman chuckled. "One thing is sure, you're the definitely sweet enough to be an angel, sweetheart."

Patton leaned his head back against his shoulder and smiled brightly at him, even more, when Roman started blushing. "Ro, you're so cute, it's almost like you're flirting."

"Yeah, weird..." Roman looked away, laughing awkwardly. He desperately searched for a chance to change the topic so he didn't have to relive the last three years of unnoticed flirting with his roommate. Luckily the narrator's announcement of a scientist coming to town gave him the perfect cue. "Oh yeah, I saw that guy. But you should have seen his assistant, Dr. Cambridge or something. Looked at me like I was crazy."

"Well, did you wear your prince uniform?"

Roman gasped. "Of course! I'm this town's protector since the Sheriff's secret police can't get the job done. I have to be in uniform and ready to act at all times!" He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I couldn't stand being looked at like a crazy person so I invited him over."

Patton shot up again. "What? When?! I haven't cleaned!"

The doorbell rang and Roman grinned: "Now." He stood to open the door and Dr. Logan Cambridge hesitantly stepped inside. He found himself set on the couch with a lap full of sushi that Patton somehow had summoned out of the fridge before he could do much more than introducing himself.

"I- uh- Thank you? However, I am sorry to say that I cannot eat raw fish."

"Oh, don't worry, neither can I. I could make you something else," Patton chimed as he popped a piece of sushi into his mouth.

Logan stared at him, speechless for a moment. "...no, thank you. I'm not really hungry." He pointed to the radio. "I have to say this town has a rather fascinating of spreading news. Not to mention the unique nature of the news itself."

Roman nodded enthusiastically. "The showrunner is a town legend. Nobody has ever seen them. Our friend Virgil is convinced that they're a ghost who deceased in 1869."  
Logan frowned: "I thought the town didn't exist until 1967?"

Roman nodded again. "That's what makes it so mysterious."

Patton took in Logan's puzzled look and decided to change the topic. "Roman said that you're Dr. Carlos assistant? How is work with him?"

Logan sighed. "He fits into this town just fine. His scientific methods are... unconventional," he recalled just as the radio voice reported on all the incidents Carlos team were investigating. He started telling them the story about how this evening the whole team had to plead to a clock to line up with the time of the sunset in several languages with the result that the clock complied with only a delay of ten minutes.

The evening ended pleasantly with light conversation and occasional laughter mixed in. And finally with Logan being invited every evening now for the show, since he hasn't got a radio in the car, nor a car that could have a radio.


	2. Glow Cloud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet Virgil.

At exactly 6pm, and therefore ten minutes earlier than usual, the doorbell rang. Patton threw it open with a smile only to be slammed against the wall next to the door by a purple blur and the door itself slammed shut.

"The spiders are attacking!" Patton screeched. Then his eyes focused on the figure before him and he took a calming breath, letting out a relieved sigh: "Virge..." Then he saw the state the other was in, sweating and out of breath. "What happened?"

"Pat," Virgil panted out. "I think I was being followed. I ran away, and you know I never run."

There was a rapid knocking on the door and both the men's gazes flickered to the piece of wood. "Patton?" a familiar voice sounded from outside.

Patton smiled. "Oh, that's Logan! I doubt that he was chasing you on purpose, kiddo, we just invited him over too." He opened the door and let the other in.

"Salutations, I'm Dr. Logan Cambridge, I didn't have the chance to introduce myself yet since you seemed to be in a hurry." He extended a hand and Virgil gave him a two-finger salute in response.

"Virgil Shay, local raccoon and writer, doctorate not yet in sight."

"Are you coming or what?" Roman's voice spared Logan from the search for a response. They all piled into the living room and settled onto the big couch to smell and mouthwatering taste of Patton's famous Homemade Curry Cheese Bread. However Roman was a bit distracted from Patton pressing into his side.

Virgil groaned: "Can't you two just kiss already?"

Patton giggled and Virgil swore he heard Logan just mutter under his breath something about how "If he doesn't then I will" but surely he couldn't have that heard correct, right?

Roman in the meanwhile had almost swallowed his tongue. "Well, why don't you shut up, Three Gays Grace? Just go and make heart eyes on the radio as usual."

Logan adjusted his glasses. "Actually, objectophilia is a commonly known form of attraction and I think making fun of another's feelings is-"

Patton interrupted him: "Oh no, Logan, our Virgil here has a major crush on the narrator of the radio show."

"Patton! I don't have a crush!" Virgil tried to hide his blush with a bite of curry bread.

"Whatever you say, kiddo," Patton grinned.

\---

Just on the other side of town, in the little radio station with the neon On Air sign still switched off, Damien Jay Drake entered the bathroom and found the wish of his 11th birthday fulfilled. Because in the middle of the room floated a fluffy purring cat.

"Huh," he said. "Guess I have a cat now. Better get the cat food out of the shower for you." He pulled the shower curtain back, filled a bowl with the kibble and set it inconvenient height on the sink. He scratched the cat between the ears: "There you go, hun."

He left the room and went down the hallway. In the recording room he slipped into his big chair, cleared his throat and began to speak, this time into the turned-on microphone: "The desert seems vast, even endless, and yet scientists tell us that somewhere, even now, there is snow. Welcome to Night Vale." The words were carried on the invisible electric waves through the air and echoed in the living room of the four new friends.

Said friends cuddled together on the couch, listening to the calming voice from the radio that read not so calming news, or at least they unsettled Logan.

"Excuse me, are we just gonna ignore the deathly weather phenomenon?" he asked, rather disturbed by the image of a giant glowing cloud moving over the city and disposing of piles of animals.

"Dude, I once had lava lamp that did the same, this pretentious glowy fuck is nothing special," Virgil answered chewing on some bread unimpressed. At this moment Logan swore to himself to never shop at the local Home Depot.

"Although, I would not go so far as to endorse their suggestion to run directly at the cloud, shrieking and waving your arms, just to see what it does," the narrator's voice broke into Logan's confused horror.

"And there go Roman's plans for the evening," Virgil commented, smirking as Roman let out an offended noise.

"Okay, listen here, Simple Emo, I did not-" Roman stopped as he heard the narrator changing the topic again.

"The Apache Tracker-"

Roman wailed: "Uhhhh don't mention that guy!"

Patton grinned: "Why? What did you do now?"

Roman gasped offended once more: "Why do you assume I did anything?"

Logan interrupted Patton before he could answer, looking incredibly smug with himself: "Even I know that that statement is justified."

Virgil took a look at Roman grasping for words, which gave him a look like a fish out of water the way his mouth closed and opened, and at Patton giggling in his spot, not to mention at Logan looking at the other's reaction with a smug smirk. He couldn't help but comment: "Really, right in front of my salad?"

Logan snapped out of eyeing Roman and Patton and turned to him, back to visibly confused: "I don't understand, you're eating bread?"

Roman blinked, then shook his head. "Anyways, so I went to investigate the screaming and it was going pretty well since ghosts didn't dare to kill me at that point-"

Virgil interrupted his monologue with a muttered comment: "More like you annoyed them out of the building." He then quickly stuffed his mouth with bread at the look Roman send him.

"-as I was just saying, I was minding the buildings business and then this guy has the audacity to just waltz in there, alarm the idiotic cops and then comes the worst- then he and I are both arrested! Me! Like a mere commoner, mischief causing criminal!"

Logan blinked: "I'm sorry, did you just say you were ghost hunting?"

Roman nodded. "Glad to see that you have basic listening comprehension."

"And now, a message from our sponsors," the narrator's voice sounded from the radio.

Patton beamed and straightened up a bit: "Uh, Virge, does that mean you wrote something new?"

Ever since Virgil came to town he started working as a freelance add writer and sent them to the radio station. Everyone in the living room falls silent to listen to the work of their friend: "I took a walk on the cool sand dunes, brittle grass overgrown, and above me the night sky, above me I saw. Bitter taste of unripe peaches and a smell I could not place nor could I escape. I remembered other times that I could not escape. I remembered other smells. The moon slunk like a wounded animal. The world spun like it had lost control. Concentrate only on breathing, and let go of ideas you had about nutrition and alarm clocks. I took a walk on the cool sand dunes, brittle grass overgrown, and above me the night sky, above me I saw. This message was brought to you by Coca Cola."

The living room was silent for a second except for the sirring of the radio. Then Patton broke the stunned silence: "Vee, kiddo, you know I love you, but what the everloving f u c k?"

The room filled with equal noises and gasps of shock, from Roman, confusion, from Logan, and excitement, from Virgil, because Patton did just curse for the very first time since the incident 1993.

"Drink to forget," Roman comments, "now that's a sentence I can get behind. Especially now." He throws another suspicious gaze at Patton. "I really hope you're not a shapeshifter, I have to live with you, you know."

"Alert!" it suddenly burst out of the radio, making Virgil jump onto the armrest of the couch and hiss like a cat. "The Sherriff’s Secret Police are searching for a fugitive named Hiram McDaniels, who escaped custody last night following a 9pm arrest. McDaniels is described as a five-headed dragon, approximately 18 feet tall, with mostly green eyes and weighing about 3600 pounds. He is suspected of insurance fraud."

Patton hummed in thought: "Sounds like my uncle."

Logan stared at the wall blankly for the second as if complementing his life choices, then he faces Patton with a sigh: "How by the stars could that description fit your uncle?"

Patton beamed again and almost sung in his happy pappy Patton voice: "He's a guilty, filthy rich capitalist which seems like the type to commit rich people crimes."

Virgil snorted and nodded: "Fair enough."

The narrator continued: "Helpful tipsters will earn one stamp on their Alert Citizen card. Collect five stamps, and you get to stop sign immunity for one year."

Logan was again concerned, only this time not of the sanity of the three people currently in the room with him but now with basic traffic laws: "That are unhealthy driving practices."

He went ignored not only by the narrator: "And now, a look at the community calendar. Saturday, the public library will be unknowable. Citizens will forget the existence of the library from 6am Saturday morning until 11pm that night. The library will be under a sort of renovation. It is not important what kind of renovation."

before he can control himself Logan let out a whine: "But the books... they're alone and unprotected."

Patton looked at him with what can only be described as heart eyes. "Aw, you do have a soft side."

"Sunday is Dot Day! Remember, red dots on what you love, blue dots on what you don’t. Mixing those up can cause permanent consequences."

Roman grinned. "Patton? I think I should put a red dot on you."

While Patton giggled into his hands, Logan muttered to himself: "I need to put a red dot on both of you."

Virgil rolled his eyes at the three gays and then tried to change the subject to bring all of them back to earth from cloud gay. The mention of another cloud delivered him the perfect opportunity.

"The Sherriff’s Secret Police have apparently taken to shouting questions at the Glow Cloud, trying to ascertain what exactly it wants. So far, the Glow Cloud has not answered."

"Fair enough. I wouldn't answer whether if the cops yelled at me," Virgil mused. At least it shook the others out of their pinning.

"#Clouds have the right to stay silent 2019," Patton deadpanned.

Logan for the millionth time that evening blinked rapidly in confusion. If eyelids would be a muscle it would be sore the next morning. "Did you just say hashtag out loud?"

A song started playing and Virgil groaned. "I heard my roommate, you know the guy who calls himself October, he practiced that song for the last three weeks gay, it was excruciating. I was so close to try and scratch my eardrums out."

Logan felt the need to point out the obvious. Since he came into town he had the feeling most of the time like he was missing out on some inside joke. "Your thumbs are touching," he said, which was not even nearly enough to express what he really wanted to say.

"I know."

"Virgilius Marcus Shay! I will physically fight you if I find out you used our ice cream spoon for that again," Patton scolded him with his dad's voice.

Roman snickered at the name and Virgil knocked him off the couch.

Despite everything, they all started laughing at Roman's startled face and Logan grinned and thought that maybe coming to this strange town was the best thing that ever happened to him.


End file.
